I NOW HAVE A FLAT NOSE

The title says it all for me as this is what it feels like. i should maybe explain this as you may think I am disfigured more than usual.

Well if you read a previous blog you know I am having some problems at work. Well I finally got my meeting with the "BIG GUY" as I had time to calm down and get my thoughts together. The meeting went good as we tossed some ideas around in an attempt to come to a solution to some of the internal problems I have been facing on the job.

I put all my concerns on the table backed with quotes and dollar numbers. I conducted myself very well I thought as I injected some humour into the conversation but was direct in my approach concerning the problem areas.

We came up with a good solution to one of the biggest concerns and I was to take the solution to the purchasing controller who would tell me if he could bring this particular type of paint into the work area. A work place has very strict rules as to what chemicals can be brought into the work place.

We to save this gentleman some work I did the phone calls to the customer to see if our solution would be fine with them. They had no problem with the change of plans. So I did all the leg work and obtained the msds sheets and found the place we could purchase this item at a good cost.

We I took it to him for this manager to look over and give his approval. A few hours later I went back to see what he thought and this is what he said to me. "What do you want me to do with this, It's not my job" To which I stated the president of the company ask me to get your approval before going ahead with it, to which he replied "It's not my job and he should figure out what I do it's not my problem"

Ok this is where the flat nose comes into play. I have been in a complete circle trying to find a viable solution to this problem so I can finish the rebuild of the unit I am working on. I felt completely defeated. I just did not have the energy to do this any more and I feel I have been walking into walls for a week now. My nose is now flat.

In other news in my life, we are now down to one kid living at home now. Tyler moved out. He and a friend are sharing an apartment. I hope this works out for him. We started with five kids and they are slowly growing up and going out on their own.

I have a confession to make as I feel way to guilty about this. It is hard to admit but I cheated. Tonight when I got home I made some dinner and then sat down to watch some television A Dairy Queen commercial came on and I yelled at my wife JoAnne and within minutes we were on our way to Dairy Queen to indulge in a banana split. So much for will power and my healthy eating but in my defense "It was sooooo good"

Well that's about all I got so have a great night and beware of walking into walls, the nose is very sensitive and when it is flat you look kind of funny. Thanks for reading

INJUSTICE

Injustice seems to rule our world. I have been hit and felt injustice this week at work. I was ready to walk away and never return. But happy to say I did not and came out still kicking.

Ever notice some people are just not happy unless they have made someone miserable that day. I know a guy like this and it is true, he relishes in reeking havoc on others and at work he has the power to do so.

Once I got over my anger I felt sorry for this man as he is plain miserable and I am certain his life is as wrecked as he makes others feel. So sad to meet people like this. I have to force myself to pray for him. It is not easy as this man has totally disintegrated my belief this is the place I want to work until I retire. One man has done this and I have to pray about this situation and for him. Not easy.

On other fronts I feel great and have felt great for a while now. Life is granting me some enjoyment and has restored my faith in believing life is for the living and we should live it. We should be happy on a personal level and a spiritual level and these past few weeks I have felt this. I am excited about the prospects of moving forward and being a part of society again.

A local boy who works on music with my my son is up for a second day time Grammy award. His nomination was announced this week and we are all very excited for him.

I felt creative last night and actually wrote a poem which was haunting my mind and I am very happy with it. It is a poem of hope and dividing our sorrow with the hope of forgiving it and trusting another once again. One injustice cannot dictate your whole life. We must trust in some and lay our hearts on the line when it counts and not be afraid to let the past go.

SHATTERED AS IF GLASS

I crave the desire to touch your bleeding soul with my strength

Reach in as I explore the inducement of your pain

Dissect the inevitable lose

Reaching back I fumble with the blackening memories of your tears

Outlined shadows of forbidden joy keep me focused

I take you in my arms

The flaming softness of your skin singes my emotions as I search on

Muscle contractions show no sign of impending smiles

Your sadness bounds you tight

Grazing the surface as I speak from the depths of inner connections

Your terrestrial anxiety paints a canvas of past neglect

The colors are blinding

A river flows as harrowing recollections surface without invitation

I let you talk as I only listen in grieving silence

Your words cast dark molds

The imprint of love was once marked inside as if a shrine

The texture of steel was only of glass fragments

It shattered as you fell from it

The deception of truth eludes your conscience mind rinsed in tears

The promise of love and the reality of fear

Leave you on the run

Detailed cautions plaque your eyes in a scarlet glaze which stare at me

I only recognize the beauty which lives in them

And I smile at your weariness

I harbor no intentions in which I do not speak as I hold you tight

My hand softly grazes your cheek as I speak

I love only you

Lloyd Coverdale 2007

That is about all I got today so have a great day and thanks for reading.

STOKED

I had fairly crappy day at work. I got really dirty and and had a problem with the shop foreman, but that is no problem. I am behind on my job and time is winding down and it is not close to being done So the pressure has been on me to get it completed. I can't complete it because I have not received all the parts back from the re builders.

So I am a man who should be down and out but am I, No Way!

And why am I stoked, well thanks for asking. When I came home from work tonight I noticed something on the counter with my name on it. Was it a million dollars, Nope better, was it a retirement letter, nope much better, was it a new car, nope way way better!

My new CD came in the mail, the one I bought off my newly created E-BAY account. I rushed right in the house and put it on my stereo and cranked that sucker right up. I was in my glory, dancing around the tv room with my kids looking very concerned about me. A jovial dad who just got home covered head to toe in dirt.

Quite the scene I must say, And I am sure you are glad you missed it, trust me on that one.

The CD I bought is actually a sound track from a movie released in 1986. It was called SID AND NANCY. It is the true story of Sid Vicious and Nancy Sprungsten love affair which was nothing short of crazy and disgusting. They were both drug addicts and Sid ended up killing Nancy before he killed himself. If you recall Sid was a member of the Sex Pistols the punk rock band.

I can't watch the movie as it is so violent and crazy but the soundtrack is a work of art. I have never seen the Cd anywhere in the store's, so when I found it on e-bay I had to get it. It features songs by Joe Strummer who was part of The Clash, and the Vogues. Man can that lady sing from that group. It features a song by Steve Jones called Pleasure and Pain which is amazing. I love it.

It is basically a classic rock album and it suits me just fine. Oh I am still Stoked !!!!!!!!!

Thanks for reading

A QUICK RANT

Ever get an aching pain in your stomach because of something you cannot control. I am not a control person or a least don't think I am but right now I have this ache and it really hurts inside.

My dear friend and I will venture to say one of my best friends has really been been tested and tried as of late. There is nothing I can do to help and this really pisses me off. She is a kind gentle spirit who has done nothing but help others and now she, I am sure feels totally betrayed by others.

There are certain rules in life in which you should abide by, the first is treat others as you would want to be treated. Don't take advantage of others just because you can. We all have feelings and they can be destroyed by careless and neglected actions.

Always try to help others as you need to be helped from time to time. And if you have to be neglectful please let the other person know ahead of time or say I'm sorry ASAP.

When you cannot make an engagement please call to let that person know, it is the right thing to do. And to my friend I feel such an ache for you right at this moment as your words filtered through my soul and if I could take those feelings upon myself so you did not have to feel them I would in a heartbeat.

Some of us love you dearly and we are always here for you.

ONE SHOT OF ADRENALINE PLEASE

Squandered opportunities leave us scrambling for some form of higher ground. A place elevated high enough in which we can rest our tired feet.

We search for that next fix. We need to shoot up our bodies with adrenaline as we indulge our own ego's. Excitement dwindles away at times and we need it back. Live becomes boring and stagnant and very fruitless. How do you combat this, do you dive right in the next opportunity and hope it fulfills or do you hold out for that next chance to spread our wings and fly away.

I am bored with my life lately not depressed as there is a huge difference just surviving feeling like excitement is passing me by. Such a weird feeling and it has been haunting me for some time.

I want to do something crazy and totally out of context with myself. I have no idea what and if I could ever do something which may seem stupid at the time. It's just a thought I have at this moment and it is what I really want to do.

Boredom is hard to fight and is a direct result of very poor personal planning within ourselves. I am not good with planning things when they pertain to me. I need to feel alive lately as I feel dull and boring. I have so many things planned this summer and I am so looking forward to them but right now ho hum!

I had some very sad news this week which has left me searching for some answers as the news caught me totally off guard. Divorce is a terrible thing when it happens to people you love and care very much for. When a couple you thought were doing great comes and tells you it's over it can be very disturbing. I did not see it coming and it is really sending my mind into a spin. I hope they can work it out but I have been told they will not. It is really sad and I will pray for this couple as I love them both very much.

My leafs are out of the playoffs again which is really no surprise to me as I have braced myself for the event. Oh well it's only a game and there is always next year and the next year and the next year......... lol.

I have opened up an ebay account finally. I have wanted to do this for sometime but never did. Man you can buy all sorts of crap on there. Not that I have but could if wanted. It boggles my mind when I go threw the different categories and look at what people have for sale. You name it you can buy it. Too much really.

I was really amazed at how you can buy tickets for concerts. I have definitely been out of the ticket buying loop lately as I found out you can buy tickets and they e-mail you the ticket and you just have to print them on your computer. No more standing in line for three days as we used to have to do in the seventies. I was completely overwhelmed when I purchased tickets this week. I actually had a smile on my face as I had the tickets within minutes of finding them. So fast that it scared me. I must have done something wrong but nope that is the way it worked. I mentioned this to one of my boys and he looked at me as if I was from another planet, as he calmly told me he has been doing this for a few years now. I just sighed as I felt like a moron thinking I had stumbled onto the next great invention of the century.

Thats all I got today so have a great evening and thanks for reading.

Happy Easter

I have been way to busy this past week and have not really had a time to blog. I need to get into the swing again this week as I have so much to say.

We spent a remarkable day at my sister and brother in laws today and a dinner tomorrow at my daughters place. So much food you would never know I am watching my weight but come on it's easter.

On the good news talk the Maple Leafs won their last game as they beat out the Canadians for a playoff spot. Now tomorrow the Islanders must loose in regulation time for the leafs to make the playoffs. I will be watching and cheering New Jersey, until such a time I get a life.

I have to go now but I will start regular blogging and comments on Monday.

Have a great Easter day and thanks for reading